Yes, I have LOTS more interesting things to post right now, including Easter, Charlotte's birthday, and 1-month-old Trevor, but what new mother of 3 has time? It used to be that if I had a choice between blogging and sleeping, I would choose the blog 75% of the time. No longer. Not that sleep is a frequent option these days... But today I post in hope of soliciting some advice and suggestions from my friends.
Dinner time has become a huge challenge in our house. I have been pretty good about having dinner ready at 6pm, and Drew makes a good, solid effort to get home close to that time so we can eat together. The problem? What is SUPPOSED to be an enjoyable, uplifting family activity usually results in tears and frustration because Scott and Charlotte either won't eat or won't stay in their chairs or both. Are we alone in this struggle?
So I have debated about what we should do... We first ask both children nicely to stay in their chairs and eat, which they ignore. Then the threats and bribes come next. Rarely does anything work. So what is the alternative? Do we not force them to eat and just let them eat when they feel like it? Do we allow them to do "drive-by dinner" and wander around and only come to the table when they want to take a bite?
What rules have you come up with for dinner time and how do you enforce them???
Family Vacationing in the Beautiful Black Hills
8 years ago
10 comments:
OH! I totally have the same problem! I have a friend that gives her kids the option of eating their dinner or going to bed. We've tried that, but it doesn't stick. Adelynne will just go to her bed and 1 minute later she says she wants to eat her dinner. What's a mom to do? Maybe I should try setting a timer for 15-20 minutes. If their dinner is gone by the time the timer is done then they get a reward (positive reinforcement instead of negative). Maybe they get to stay up later, earn a sticker or whatever. If they don't eat their dinner then the kitchen closes, and they face the consequences (as will I).
I will have to check back with this one to see if anyone has some good ideas. And I'll have to try out my own idea! You just gave me the chance to spill my thoughts. Thanks!
And Good luck.
I totally understand where you're coming from. We are mean, but I refuse to make several dinners or reserve dinner when the kids are finally hungry. So, it goes like this....I serve dinner, we sit down, they can eat or not, clear the plates, and then suffer through the complaining for a night because their tummys hurt because they're hungry.
A few nights like that, and the kids caught on that they either eat or their hungry. My kids don't eat much anyway, but I have to keep them on a pretty strict schedule or else I find myself constantly in the kitchen getting someone a snack, etc.
We used to have a lot of problems with this when Brandon was around 2 years old. We had some friends who were pretty "mean" about making their kids sit and if they didn't want to eat they pulled the dinner out for breakfast the next morning. We didn't go quite that far. We just make them try at least 3 bites of everything. Sometimes that's all they eat. Other days they eat a lot. We just don't give them any desserts or snacks if they don't eat the 3 bites of each item. If they do try everything, we usually have a small snack or dessert before bed. This mostly eliminates fights. And we mostly don't serve things they hate :) Good luck!
My kids have to eat the majority of their dinner to get a snack before bed. Sometimes it's a cookie, othertimes it's a cheese stick. They either eat dinner at dinner time or no snack later.
If they tell me they don't want a snack, they are excused from the table. The catch? No coming back to me in 20 minutes telling me your hungry. I'm with Cadle Clan. One night of going to bed hungry cured that little power struggle.
This used to be a problem for us too - so I cut out afternoon snacks. This helped a ton. They are hungry for dinner now. Depending on how long they go between meals - you could still offer a snack - but maybe do it earlier - by 2:30/3:00. I also do not allow a bedtime snack (which they have everynight) if they do not eat enough dinner. "Enough" is determined by me - I will say - you have to eat x bits of this and x bites of this, etc. Good Luck!
Wow! Those are all great comments! Do what those wise women said and please know that your cute little wiggly kids will grow up and all your good intentions/works will start to pay off. Just keep thinking to yourself "someday they will be able to sit down and actually finish a meal."(Of course, once you have this problem under control, then they will present you with different challenges because God doesn't want you to get bored.) You are doing a great job! It will get easier!
Or you could be like Laurie C and tie your kids to the chairs...remember a few moths ago with Heidi????
Good Luck!
I'm with Cadle Clan. Everything I have read/learned says that kids will not go hungry as long as they are provided with healthy options. Problem is, when they come to dinner full of graham crackers, toast, juice, and fruit snacks, they don't want anything else. With Josh we have to put every snack high enough in the pantry where I can usually catch him before he climbs that high. Then, I give them out sparingly. If he's going through a lousy dinner-eating phase, no snacks, and definitely no snacks before bed. Not to say that I have it all figured out, but it works for my sister and she's my go-to gal for stuff like this.(Her kids are almost 6, 4, and 2.) And look at it this way . . . if they have a few nights where they choose to go hungry and leave the table, you get a dinner alone with your spouse, hooray! I'm just way impressed that you have dinner ready by 6 . . . you are doing GREAT!
Wow! You're actually making dinner? Stacey, you are on top of it! Tonight the boys had cereal. Some days they're lucky to be fed...not really, but it does feel like that when they won't eat what I made, and I AM NOT A SHORT ORDER COOK. One day, when Scott and Trevor are eating you out of house and home, you'll reflect on this moment. We've recently discovered that Ethan has a hollow leg, he'll eat a large dinner, veggies included (sometimes even two servings!) and 15 mins. later he's hungry again. Go figure.
My only experiences with this is having Tessa on my left boob so I can scarf down a meal with my right. Ted is usually nowhere in sight. Damn PhD.
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